Depression is a bar of chocolate And so many other things too It’s the cloud above my head that refuses to let the sun shine through It’s the constant companion of doom, a grey fog that refuses to let go of me and fills every area of my being It’s the projector in my mind […]
You don’t SEE me, for on most days you only see- through Me
what you don’t seem to do is RECOGNIZE me- the women in your team
To you I am the face of gender inclusion, a”Need-t0″ and not a “Must- Have”!
I am also a Mother, and you probably believe that my brain probably fell -off, with the placenta at the time of birthing
Why else would you de-value me? Act as if its a favor and a blessing that I still have a job
Oh yes! I do prioritize my child’s need;
No, I don’t de-prioritize my work to be a good mother
What I do instead is learn to re-prioritize my work and life
I do 8 hours worth of work in 6 hours or less because I won’t take those networking and gossipy tea breaks
I will not worry about who gets the next promotion or watch Youtube at work, just because I have to pretend that I am physically present at work
Yes, I might not be able to attend few of the midnight conference calls on some nights, but you know that I will start early the next day and deliver everything that you will need for your next meeting
When you appreciate my work by sending a simple Thank- you email, it makes my work week, but I don’t appreciate it when you don’t bother to let others know that the you had help from me on that critical deliverable
I appreciate feedback, in fact, that’s what makes me feel important because I realize then, that you have been paying attention to my work and that you’re invested in my progress at work
I appreciate it, even more, when that feedback is backed up by real facts, data, and figures and is not purely based on your perception of my situational constraints
I am not weak because I am a mother who also works
In fact, being a mother makes me stronger -intellectually, mentally and intuitively
I am better at managing my time and focussed on getting things done
I am also more committed to my work, work that I love on most days, because now I have greater responsibilities and mostly because I want to be a role model for my child
I don’t want your sympathy, I wasn’t hit by a meteor
What I need from you is acknowledgment, for both my potential and drawbacks
I need you to tell me How better I can contribute to the team, and then have faith in me that I will do my best because I have always held myself accountable to my work
I need you to believe that my brain did not get dislodged during the pregnancy,
It’s still at its right place and is now functioning I ways that almost makes me believe that I have super-powers
And this super-woman is happy to work for You, for the team, the organization and most importantly for herself
because you see this woman in your team is actually a closeted “Momma-holic”
You know its time to move on from where you work , when you have a really important presentation to give the next day at yet, you do everything else but work on that presentation. this is what i did, spoke to friends I hadn’t spoken to in over a month, paid mundane bills, made hotel bookings, even bought books and downloaded some and everytime I promised to get back to the presentation as soon as the last task was done. And yet, here I am at 3PM and blogging.. anything to get away from mindlessness.
I work in a typical office, in a MNC to boot and yet all the time, I am devising plans to get out of the rut. and I look around me at mediocrity and wonder if I am just suffering from I am too smart complex or Am I smarter than the guy in the next chair.As a kid I thought when I finally i will start working I will have freedom, to think and share my ideas so that I can experience what it is to have a Brain.little did I know that a) Women in most cases are presumed to have less brain power than men, esp. if they are coming back from a maternity leave(seems like their brain falls out from their body with the placenta 😦 b) Using the brain is the prerogative of only a few people at a certain level and their left/right hand men..the rest, well you can either suck up to the people above or learn to live a brainless life. go to work-do as told- have no work -life balance and come back and wait for the weekend.
I wonder why Leaders and people are not taught to listen and trust other people. Your subordinates are not primates, atleast not living- in -the- wild kind of primates. Treat them with respect, for you have hired them because of what skills they have. trust them to know what they can contribute, teach them accountability(if you feel they lack that), through your own example. Most importantly treat them like “people”-Thinking, functioning, feeling individuals. For at the end of the day that person is going to go back home and remember the feelings not the 25th row of the excel sheet. As human beings we need to feel and be in touch with who we are, good companies inculcate the sense of worthiness, its a herculean task and not always achievable but to get the sense that someone is investing in our potential makes one develop loyalty and accountability . Its not always about the money and the parties, mostly its about respect, for my thoughts, my opinions and my existence.
This may sound like a crib and in parts it is, but it also is a wishlist of an employee who can do so much more if only someone took a moment to hear them out.
Time to go back to that presentation